FINAL_DSC_7171-819x1024Mediating divorce cases can be stressful and draining on the mediator. But what happens when a case shifts gears suddenly and becomes a classic “high-conflict” case in which tensions rise, and you quickly feel like you’ve lost control of the mediation and may not be able to rescue it.

What can you do?
Building structure within each basic mediation step
Step 1 : Signing the agreement to mediate
 spend more time bonding with clients during this stage
 establish that you will have tight control over the mediation process
 thoroughly explain the process and rules of communication
 let them know you’ll pay equal attention to their concerns and proposals
Step 2 : Making the agenda
 have clients raise the issues – not you
 emphasize that it is the parties’ dispute and decisions to be made, not the mediator
 encourage each party to look at and speak to the mediator instead of each other
Step 3 : Making Proposals
 begin the proposal process earlier than usual mediations, to keep highly intense emotions from taking over
 focus on understanding a proposal before allowing the other person to respond
 manage the process with a very direct approach, while not taking responsibility for the outcome
Step 4: Finalizing Your Agreements
 remain calm and remind yourself and the parties that you are responsible for the process, not the outcome
 remember that high-conflict cases may take twice as long to reach final agreement
solving and the other is focused on relationship defensiveness – this may cause them to go round and round several times before signing the agreement
It is possible to help parties in high-conflict cases reach agreement and develop solid parenting plans by using a highly-structured method like this new resource

New Ways for Mediation: More Structure, More Skills and Less Stress for Potentially High-Conflict Cases

Is Divorce Mediation for You?

 

About Unhooked Books
Unhooked Books is the one place for people to find the best and most current information and resources available on personality disorders, high-conflict personalities, divorce, parenting, co-parenting, living healthy, eating healthy, and managing your life. Founder & CEO, Megan Hunter, established one place for people in any type of relationship to find tools to enhance relationships, prevent relationship disaster and handle relationship transition. Her firm belief is that with just a little education, most people can resolve most relationship issues.

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We’ve just added a new book on parenting to our store called Becoming a Better Parent: Ten Things We Need to Know About Parenting written by Bob Lang, LPC, LAC, MAC, SAP, a licensed mental health and substance abuse counselor based in Colorado, USA. We asked Bob to write a short synopsis of the book. Enjoy!

Bob Lang: I’m excited to talk with you about my book “Becoming a Better Parent.” Unlike other parenting books, my book goes beyond current limitations to provide a comprehensive and compassionate model that focuses on the entire parenting continuum. It contains a combined wisdom that has become my passion and is presented in a way that sheds new light on an age old subject. As a licensed mental health and addictions professional in providing forensic and therapeutic services, I’m delighted to share these system based perspectives on parenting with you. This book is an integrative and inclusive model of parenting that is based on 30 years of experience, knowledge, research, and know-how.

Intended to enlighten the path for parenting in the future, my only mission is to generate a similar enthusiasm in moving toward a better understanding of parenting. It is an effective blend of the art and science of parenting that provides us all with a new parameters-based approach for understanding the true complexity of parenting. Intended for professionals and parents alike it provides us all with a new framework for developing a multidimensional insight into the parent-child system.

My search for an answer to the driving question, ‘what does it mean to be a good parent?’ has opened up the horizon to a new frontier in parenting. These pathways form a new theoretical orientation to parenting that I hope creates a similar desire in your own search for truth. This book has developed its own course and has become a divergent path from the current advice driven parent literature that seeks to transcend our common knowledge of parenting. It attempts to transform our current views about parents, children, and their relationship, and creates a cohesive theory of effective parenting. It probes the deepest places of our hearts, minds and souls so we can all seek to create a better world for our children and make a difference in the future.

Unhooked Books: unHooked Books is an online bookstore specializing in personality disorders, high-conflict people, living healthy, eating healthy, and better managing life.

Megan Hunter and Life Unhooked:

Megan Hunter is founder and CEO of and Life Unhooked, a speaking, training and consulting company that provides a fresh perspective and approach to help companies and individuals identify and overcome the damaging behaviors of HCD’s – whether they are employees, customers, vendors, board members, or anyone in your life. Most importantly we help you ‘unhook’ from these peoples’ behaviors so that you can make the right, next decisions – cleanly and clearly. She is also the co-founder of the High Conflict Institute launched in 2007 with Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., an internationally renowned expert in High Conflict Personalities. She has been the recipient of several awards including the President’s Award by the Arizona Family Support Council (2005), the Friend of Psychology Award by the Arizona Psychology Association (2006) and the Outstanding Contribution Award by the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (2010). She is a volunteer in several organizations including a member of Tanzania Project and Vice President of Personality Disorder Awareness Network (PDAN). She holds a BA degree in business from Chadron State College and an MBA from the University of Phoenix. To contact Megan about speaking engagements or to gather more information, email megan@lifeunhooked.com

Bob Lang:

Bob is a licensed mental health and addictions counselor, has his Master’s degree from Northern Arizona University and has been in practice since 1983. He was the founder and is the owner of Family Treatment Centers and is a co-occurring specialist. Bob is a forensic and legalistic evaluator and is an expert witness. He is a Family Systems authority and works as a consultant, writer and presenter. He is member of the state and national professional associations in mental health and substance abuse.

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