Raising Children in Two Households; Co-parenting tip of the month
October 13, 2013
Kids On Time utilizes a different approach to raising children in two households by providing a co-parenting road-map which changes the way parents look at parenting after divorce.
Our ultimate goal is for the lives of your kids to be better, with greater involvement and participation by both parents.
Co-parenting tip of the month
Why all this focus on clothes?
“Those clothes aren’t coming into my house.” “You aren’t wearing anything bought by that person into my home.” “Whatever they buy you, needs to stay at their place, I do not want to see it.” The amount of times these statements and similar ones are said to children who split their time between multiple homes is absolutely mind boggling, not to mention, sad. Parents who say that they care about the well-being of their child, that they would give them the world, that they would do anything for them, that their former spouse is the one who is uncaring, unsupportive and a monster, are the same people who utter these statements when their children return from their other parent’s home.
Really…? What is the big deal about clothing? It’s time, for those of us in any shared parenting situation to step back and take a real hard look at ourselves and our actions. When we act with aggression, whether outward or passive, the only people who really suffer are the kids. Think about it. What message are you sending, when you do not let your child where a pair of pants purchased by someone else? Does this sound rational? Does this sound mature? Does this sound supportive? Does this sound like someone who has the child’s best interest at heart?
Your divorce is about you and your former, not about your child. They still have two parents, you, and the other.
The clothing is a symbol of control. You can change your behavior. You can teach your child that, despite your feelings, you love them and accept that they love and have a relationship with their other parent and that person’s significant other. You do not have to like the person, but it is time that you respect them. It may not be easy to make the change. You may not like their taste. But, you love your kids. You want to be a good example for them. You want them to know that treating people with respect is important. So, do that. Let them wear the pants, shorts, shoes, shirts, and jackets that are purchased from your former. Your kids will appreciate it. You will eliminate another stressor in everyone’s life, which, will make everyone’s life just a bit better. Remember…its only clothes.
Give it a try.
About Unhooked Books
Unhooked Books is the one place for people to find the best and most current information and resources available on personality disorders, high-conflict personalities, divorce, parenting, co-parenting, living healthy, eating healthy, and managing your life. Founder & CEO, Megan Hunter, established one place for people in any type of relationship to find tools to enhance relationships, prevent relationship disaster and handle relationship transition. Her firm belief is that with just a little education, most people can resolve most relationship issues.