Avoid Admonishments, Advice and Apologies

October 2, 2013


Layout 1It is nearly impossible to resist the urge to write Blamespeak back, in response to a personal attack. Most people in the news can’t do it, which is often why they’re in the news!
Blamespeak triggers the defensive part of your brain. Before I explain the details of avoiding Blamespeak in your BIFF’s, let me say a little about why our brains have such a hard time with this. It should make it easier for you to overcome the powerful urge to slip Blamespeak into your BIFF’s.
Left Brain and Right Brain Conflict Resolution
Our brains are mostly divided into two hemispheres. They each have their own way of responding to conflicts, although there is some overlap. Our brains are really a combination of parts that serve different purposes. They take turns in dominating our thinking at times and generally work together – just as we have many muscles in our arms that work together rather than just one muscle.
Our brains are very flexible and the location of brain activity for different purposes varies somewhat person to person. My comments about the brain throughout this book are based on reading research, attending seminars, and seeing what works in the practice of conflict resolution. I’m not a neuroscientist, so this book is meant to be practical and general, rather than scientifically exact.

billeddyAbout Bill Eddy

William A. (“Bill”) Eddy IS CO-FOUNDER AND PRESIDENT OF HIGH CONFLICT INSTITUTE, LLC, IN San Diego, California, AND Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego, California. He is a Certified Family Law Specialist in California with over FIFTEEN years’ experience representing clients in family court. Prior to becoming an attorney in 1992, he was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience providing therapy to children, adults, couples and families in psychiatric hospitals and outpatient clinics.

About Unhooked Books
Unhooked Books is the one place for people to find the best and most current information and resources available on personality disorders, high-conflict personalities, divorce, parenting, co-parenting, living healthy, eating healthy, and managing your life. Founder & CEO, Megan Hunter, established one place for people in any type of relationship to find tools to enhance relationships, prevent relationship disaster and handle relationship transition. Her firm belief is that with just a little education, most people can resolve most relationship issues.

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