TomKat: Another high-profile celebrity divorce for the public to obsess over

July 11, 2012


It appears that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will be in the news for awhile. Another high-profile celebrity divorce for the public to obsess over. For Tom it’s his third, and just the first for Katie. Sad for the child.

The media is reporting on everything from their involvement with Scientology to legal strategies to what they’re eating for breakfast. Most recently, it is reported that Katie has reunited with her Catholic faith, after studying Scientology during her marriage to Tom. It could be legal strategy but even so, it raises an important issue in my mind. How could someone so easily be convinced to switch religions? Especially such an extreme switch.

Katie was raised in the Catholic faith, then met Tom who quickly swept her off her Prada-clad feet. Shortly thereafter came the pregnancy and marriage. Sometime during that timeframe, she began studying Scientology – Tom’s chosen religion.  I can’t even begin to imagine her parent’s consternation.

The switch was extreme.
So why did she do it? Falling in love makes all of us do things we wouldn’t ordinarily do, but this was extreme. Tom is driven, type A, and used to getting his way. There may be an element of charm that led Katie to make such an extreme decision. Had she dated him longer – at least one year – before making a permanent connection to him, she may have recognized red flags and put the brakes on a bit. Maybe not. It would depend on how hooked she was by his charm.

Most of us change a bit when we fall in love.
This is healthy as it indicates flexibility and adaptation – two important factors in building and maintaining any relationship. It appears, from what we know from the outside, that Katie was the one doing most of the adapting – to Tom’s way of life and thinking. It doesn’t look like Tom did much adapting, if any. Had she known him longer before making the relationship permanent, she may have avoided this painful end. Moral of the story – know someone at least one year before committing to anything with them.

About Unhooked Books
unHooked Books is based in Scottsdale, Arizona, USA. We’re not just an online bookstore. I opened unHooked Books after seeing a need for one place for people to find the best and most current information available on personality disorders and borderline personality disorder in particular, living healthy, eating healthy, and managing your life. After 15 years in divorce and child support law in a county prosecutor’s office and the Arizona Supreme Court, I co-founded High Conflict Institute which helps people in high-conflict disputes of any kind. This bookstore stemmed from the needs of the people who contacted us out of desperation. Our books are written by people who are experts in their fields. I’ve personally met and worked with most of them, and those who I haven’t met, come highly recommended by those whom I have met. Enjoy perusing our bookstore and contact us with questions or comments. Thanks for stopping by! Megan Hunter unHooked Books megan@unhookedbooks.com
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